Leaving The Spin Zone And Entering The End Zone

"You are what your record says you are."  (Bill Parcells circa 1986)  In professional sports, it is that simple.  When millionaire athletes square off against millionaire athletes, the better team always prevails.  Winners win.  Losers make excuses.  Close calls, moral victories, and could-have-beens all mean the same thing.  The job didn't get done, and now it is time to spread the blame.

Not to do the "running man" on the grave of Herm Edward's head coaching career, but the thing that bothered me the most about the losing was the fact that Herm never owned up to it.  No matter how the loses piled up, no matter how gut wrenching the games would end, and no matter how badly he would f-up the end game management, you could never tell it by listening to Herm.  According to him, we were actually doing just fine.  We were always getting better.  We were always getting closer.  We always on the verge of taking the next step, and he was always there to tell us that the next game was going to be the one that was going to show just how much progress we have made.  Nothing was ever wrong.  No player ever made a mistake.  No coach ever called the wrong play.  We were supposed to lose because losing was somehow part of his ingenious plan.  There was never a reason to hold anyone accountable because despite the worst two year run in franchise history this is exactly the way he wanted it, and no one was at fault.

If anyone was to blame, it was the fans.  We were the ones who needed "to get over it."  It was our fault for not accepting losing because "that's life."  The more Herm talked, the more we all came to realize that it was all he could do.  Talk.  Whether he actually believed it himself or not, he would spout off a truck full of horse sh*t that would make Bernard Madoff blush.  It got to the point where Herm stopped talking about football all together.  If you asked him any question, his answer would be long and confusing and drawn out and not have any relevance to the question and have nothing to do with football and would eventually make you forget what question originally was asked to begin with.  It was his greatest gift.  Herm would deflect all the criticism by simply confusing us with stories about his upbringing or preaching to us about life or talking about anything besides how poorly he was doing his job.  He would hide behind his reputation as a "man of great character" and use it to deflect away attention from his own coaching ineptness.  It's no wonder why he never made anyone else accountable.  How could he when he was too busy ducking and dodging any accountability himself.

No one knows what the Todd Haley era will bring to the Kansas City Chiefs, but we can expect one thing.  If he is anything like his mentor Bill Parcells, if Scott Pioli truly believes he found the right coach for this young team,  and if he is to be the head coach to bring this team back to prominence, he will bring a level of accountability that hasn't existed at Arrowhead since Marty Schottenheimer was patrolling the sidelines.  Maybe it's a product of the "Show Me" in our Show Me State motto, but as Chiefs fans, we don't need to be told how good it can be.  We need to see it with the results on the field.  That is something that either Herm couldn't understand or knew he couldn't deliver, but something that the Pioli/Haley regime has already embraced.  The new GM and coach aren't going out on a media blitz selling themselves to this town.  Instead they are shutting down all communication with the media and telling us nothing.  Which speaks volumes.  Instead of campaigning for support like politicians, both men are basically saying that "it doesn't matter what we say, the results will speak for themselves."  What a novel concept?  Go out and do everything possible to win every game and let the W's and L's define your successes and failures.  Don't try to win the media.  Win the fans, and the only way to do that is to put a winning product on the field.  Don't duck accountability.  Instead hold yourself, your coaches, and the team accountable, and that is the only thing that will count in the end.

The honeymoon period hasn't even started yet.  We are still driving away from the wedding chapel believing that we've just married the most hottest, the most coolest, and the most "she won't ever try to change me"-est chick on the planet.  Who knows what the future will bring?  Two years from now we can either be talking about how this was the best decision or biggest mistake of our lives.  But either way, we will at least know one thing.  That tangible results will matter over excuses.  That Haley will stand by his record and not try to deflect the blame onto everyone else but himself.  That in a business where teams are judged by their wins and losses that those results will no longer be treated as if they don't count.  Hopefully, we will have successes.  Definitely, we will have accountability and that may be why this move makes the most sense.  Todd Haley may or may not be the next Bill Parcells, but we know one thing.  He learned under Parcells.  He believes in the Parcells Way, and that way is to be as brutally honest as possible regardless of whose feelings might get hurt.  Having a coach who will tell it like it is will be a refreshing change for this town, and after putting up with all of Herm's lies, I for one am ready for "The Truth."

        

                       

Zack Greinke is special; special arm, special talent.  The type of special that makes you wonder how a skinny lanky kid who looks like he's just past puberty can unleash a 97 mile fastball that makes the catcher's glove pop so loud you can hear it from right field GA and follow it up with a 65 mph Uncle Charlie that make major league batters buckle and duck like the ball is coming right for their faces only to fall safely into the zone for strike three.  The type of special that can carry an entire team, town, and pitching staff.  Even his career reads like an after school special. Achton Kutcher is probably shopping the script of a high school phenom who breaks down under the enormous expectations of being a first round draft choice and comes back to resurrect his career by toiling in the minors, in the bullpen, and eventually making himself the Ace of the team as we speak,  No better way to put it.  The kid is special.  So special that in a down economy signing him to a 4 year $38 million dollar makes you feel as if you've picked him up on special.

Unfortunately, Zack Greinke is also very special.  Not the type of special that says he's destined for greatness, but the type you call him so because that is the politically correct way to call people like him.  The type of special that makes a kid with his talent walk out on his team in spring training even though he was living every kids dream.  The type of special that makes you wonder how a player can perform under the scrutiny of professional sports when he openly admits to not being comfortable in front of large crowds.  The type a special that might make you wonder if the Royals made the right move by signing a player with all-world talent and exactly one solid season as a major league starter to a multi year deal.

But that's not the type of special I want to focus on.  I want to believe that if Zack isn't all the way back that he is back on track.  I want to believe that this city has accepted Zack for all the ways he is special and that this town has a special relationship with our Ace.  There might not be any other place in the Majors where a kid with his enormous talent  and his debilitating flaw can thrive the way Zack has, and there can be no better reward for Zack, the Royals team and franchise, and this entire city than to know that for the next four years that we will all be able to be a part of his amazing journey.  To finish what he started.  To know that it was all worth it.  To see Zack become the front line starter we all know that he is destined to be.  For the next for years, every fifth day when Zack takes the mound, we all know that we will be witnessing something special.

        

                                               
                                      He Love Me.  He Loves Me Not.  He Loves Me.

Even as a 43 year old, overweight, balding white guy, Scott Pioli is the most beautiful man this city has ever laid our collective eyes on.  Not only that but he's also the smartest, funniest, the most charismatic, most football knowledgeable-est, and 3-Super-Bowl-winningest GM ever.  His jokes are funny.  His stories are captivating.  He has the perfect smile.  He strong yet sensitive.  He's humble yet confident.  He's kind and caring, but at the same time, he always knows exactly when to stand up for himself.  He loves puppies.  He's good with kids.  He volunteers at the local nursing home.  He is everything, every football fan would ever want from their GM.

Having a new GM in town has made me rediscover my love for the Chiefs, and it's time for this town to believe in this team again.  Sure we have supported the team, filled the stadium, and stayed with them out of convenience, but for the better part of a decade, being a Chiefs fan has been more about getting wasted before the game, eating a ton of artery clogging grilled meat, watching the team lose, and then complaining the rest of the week about how we never thought this team was any good anyway.  This isn't the way it used to be, but it's almost as if the 1997 playoff loss to the Broncos irreparably damaged our collective psyche, and we have felt betrayed since.  Every time we went on a nice winning streak or started the season with 11 straight wins or had the best O-line/fantasy RB in the league or finished 13-3 or received the ultimate back door playoff berth  or had any kind of success, we refused to get sucked in because every time we tried the memories of Elvis Grbac inexplicably chucking the ball into the endzone to Lake Dawson on fourth-and-1 (When he had plenty of time and only needed a yard to move the chains as Rich Gannon, the rest of the team, and every Chiefs fan sat there numb.  And instead of celebrating a playoff win against our most hated rival, we went home in silence to spend the rest of the night crying under the covers in our bed.  At least that's what I did.) would come rushing back and serve as a reminder of what can happen if we emotionally invest too much.  Kinda like that guy who thinks he's living the perfect life with the perfect chick until one day he decides to come home early from work (Flowers, bottle of wine, and sex toy in hand) only to walk in on her and her ex-boyfriend stinking up the sheets.  He should leave the cheating skank, but instead, he takes her back and wastes the next ten years of his life trying to recapture the feelings he once had for her.  (I realize that this analogy may make no sense to alot of people, but for many it will make perfect sense.  We didn't lose a game that day.  There was a feeling of betrayal.  Like we thought we were living the perfect life until reality kicked us in the groin.  Yes, that day still stings, and No, I never walked in on my old lady.)  He keeps trying to fall back in love, but every time he does, all he can think about is the sound of the bed springs bouncing being drowned out by her voice as she is screaming someone else's name in exstacy.

Get over it already!  We finally dumped the guy we've blamed for destroying this team, and we hired the best (Let me repeat best.  It's not even close.  I have been as critical of Clark Hunt as anyone in this town, but I cannot say one bad thing about this hire.  Clark needed a HR, and he hit a walk-off 550 ft. 3-run moonshot over the fountains off Mariano Riviera in the bottom of the ninth.  This isn't even an arguable point.)  personnel man in the NFL, period.  No qualifiers.  He's the best.  He's not only that, but he's also:

1.  Not Carl Peterson.  For a lot of people, it's about getting Scott Pioli.  For a lot more of us, the most important thing was to get anyone who isn't named Carl Peterson.  We associated every bad memory about this team with this man.  It's wasn't about the decisions he was making anymore.  As long as he was making them, we knew that it wasn't going to work. 

2.  Has a singular focus.  The "Patriot Way" wasn't about being popular (They had the biggest A-Hole in the NFL for a coach.) or being loyal to players (Ask Lawyer Malloy and Drew Bledsoe.) and fans (If you don't believe me, here is a link describing their new stadium. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/partone/081121 by a Patriots fan no less.) or about being high character (Randy Moss, Cory Dillon, Rodney Harrison) or being honest (Spygate).  It's about one thing; WINNING.  Win and you silence all the critics.  Win and you'll fill the stadium.  Win and all the secondary stuff will take care of itself.  Win and this town will know you as a winner.  The Patriot Way is the Chiefs Way now, and the winning can't come fast enough.

3.  Can be trusted.  This town never really trusted Carl.  Maybe it was his slimy hair, the snooty tone in his voice, or his Matrix-like leather trench coat, but we always thought that Carl had other reasons for the moves he made besides delivering the Lombardi Trophy.  That's not the case with Pioli.  I've heard more people on the streets and in the media profess their trust for Pioli in the week he has been in charge then the 19 years Carl was on the throne.   (Let's hope that if Scott Pioli doesn't own a leather trench.)

Scott Pioli will have failures.  Everyone does.  He will make a bad decision, hire an incompetent coach, sign a bum, and draft a bust.   He will do things that we won't agree with and say things that will piss us off.  But that's now right now.  Right now, we can't think about that.  Right now is a time for hope.  A time to think that our investment in this team will be paid off with wins in games with Roman Numerals after them.  A time when we can care about this team and feel good about being a Chiefs fan again.  A time when our new GM hasn't done anything wrong, hasn't made any mistakes, and hasn't done anything beside being Mr. Perfect. 

        

                              
                                                  The Last Of The Bunch

Can anyone tell me where the Royals youth movement went because I can't find it.  The organization has been selling us on a bunch of young and unproven (and supposedly talented) prospects learning to play baseball at the Major League level for the past two years, and I bought it, put in storage, and waited patiently for it to become the promised contender that has eluded us the last two decades.  Now after an offseason in which every move the Royals have executed has made them older, more expensive, and presumably better, I can't find the youth movement anywhere.  I've looked everywhere; in the outfield, the infield.  There isn't a youth movement to be seen, and I, for one, am wondering where it went.

Look at the line-up we finished up with last year as compared to the projected one come April 6.  (Yes, I did actual research for this one.  Don't get used to it.)  There isn't a youth movement to be seen. 



Alex Gordon  - Coming into 2009, he is the only everyday player under the age of 28.  One player.  That's it.  The rebuilding process we have been so eager to embrace, so patient to live with, and so willing to accept has yielded us one position player.   It's not like Gordon has lived up to one tenth of the hype so far, but at least he still has a spot in the everyday line-up. 

John Buck -  At 28, Buck can't hide behind potential anymore.  At any age, I can't believe he has played as much as he has.  He brings nothing to the plate. nothing behind the plate, can't hit for average, can't hit for power, can't throw out  base runners, and basically can't justify why he keeps getting the starting nod over Miguel Olivo except for some lame excuse on how he calls a great game. (Which is the equivalent of saying a chick has a great personality.)  The catcher of the future, now is begging for one. 

Alberto Callaspo - Am I to believe this guy can't get playing time over the worst hitting SS (Tony Pena) and worst fielding 2B (Esteban German) in modern baseball history?  If not then what the heck was he ever doing on a major league roster.  I don't buy it.  I seen too many flashes of talent to believe that this kid is that bad.  There's got to be something besides baseball that's keeping him on the bench.  And I don't buy the DUI theory that's been floating around.  Seriously, are people really trying to tell me that Jose Guillen can fight his teammates, coaches, and fans and still not be pulled from the line-up, but Callaspo fails a breathalizer and the Royals feel morally obligated not to play him?!?!?

Mark Teahen - We traded a player who struck out looking with 2 outs in game seven of the NLCS and followed that up by a being a major part of the two worst back to back regular season collapses of all time in Carlos Beltran, and I still think we got the short end of the swap.  Beltran will always be a loser who isn't worth half the money he hustled out of the Mets, but at the time he was traded away, he was considered one of the most talented players in baseball.  A huge bargaining chip that we could use to replenish our roster.  What did we get back?  A catcher who is begging for a spot on the team, and a third baseman/outfielder/first baseman who the organization doesn't think is good enough to be an everyday third baseman/outfielder/first baseman and who has been a part of trade rumors all winter.  If we get anything of value for Teahen, it would be a miracle.  Right now, I'd take a box of uncooked Sheboygans and a parking attendant to be named later.

Billy Butler - There is no other way to say it.  The signing of Mike Jacobs is Dayton Moore's way of telling Doughboy "Hey fat ass, get away from the buffet table and find a treadmill.  Mix in a salad periodically.  If you want can't run, can't play the field, and can't do anything besides hit, you better be able to hit 30+ HRs a year.  I'm not waiting any longer.  I've inked a guy who hits with better power than you and who can actually play a position in the field.  If you want to get called up from Omaha again, you better get your act together."

The entire off-season has had one underling theme.  Every move was made because one of our "pieces of the future" ended up being a "piece of crap".   We've been sold a bill of goods and when they failed, we replaced them with serviceable, if not spectacular, veterans.  Now we are left with a bunch of players who may be legit everyday major leaguers, but at the same time, have no upside what-so-ever.  For better of worse, the team we have on opening day will be as good as this team will ever get.  I don't have problem with that.  When things went wrong, Dayton Moore had to do everything in his power to improve the overall talent on the team. 

What does disappoint me is that we have wasted the last two or three years waiting for a youth movement that was an absolute failure.  The youth movement never got better.  They just got older.   The talent was never there.  What we saw was a mirage, a farce, an advertising campaign from a franchise that couldn't sell tangible progress so they sold us hope.  Now the youth movement is no where to be seen, and now all I'm left with is with a bunch of free Mark Teahen and John Buck T-shirts to throw in the pile with my Jeremy Affeldt Ts and a Tony Pena bobble head doll.  A bunch of junk memorabilia celebrating a bunch of worthless players.  Well at least I've got something out of the youth movement.  With the way no one is talking about it anymore, it may be the only evidence that the youth movement ever existed.

        

                     
                         Boomer Sooner or Big Time Bust?  We'll Find Out Soon

The Big 12 South was bound to get a bit of a reality check during bowl season, but who could have predicted it would be this bad.  After beating its chest as "the greatest collection of QBs" in the history of college football, the division is a last second Longhorn comeback against a below average Ohio State team that basically crapped in its pants the last series (Anything more ridiculous than Mack Brown politicking for the national championship after that pathetic showing.  John McCain thinks that he's wasting his time.) and a soon to comeSouthern fried Gator ass thumping on the Sooners away from being swept out of the bowls.  (Cue Dennis Green voice.)  The Big 12 South is who the rest of the nation thought they were; a collection of decent to above average QBs who feasted on a conference where tackling is optional but highly discouraged. 

This is posting is not intended to shove it in the faces of Big 12 fans.  (Maybe, a little.)  This isn't even about the conference saving face.  (Too late for that.)  This is about an opportunity for Sam Bradford to show the world, the NFL scouts, and Chiefs fans that he's worthy of being considered for the No. 3 overall pick.  Bradford has a chance to face the fastest team in the country from a conference that prides itself on being defense-first and show that all those basketball scores the Sooners posted this season were a product of his talent and not a product of slow, meandering, atrocious defenses.  Before bowl season, all he had to show was that he was the best of the Big 12 South bunch.  Now with the struggles of the other teams in his division, he not only has to show that, but he also has to show that he is the exemption and not the rule.  That his numbers were not a product of a system like Graham Harrell.  That he can match a high scoring offense score for score unlike Zac Robinson.  That he won't make mistakes against a fast NFL type defense like Colt McCoy.  Bradford has the ultimate test on the biggest stage against the best opponent to show that he can be the next Peyton Manning or the next Alex Smith.

The BCS title game is gonna go one of two ways.  No. 1 is that the Sooners do what they always do.  They get their butts kicked and run home as "Big Game" Bob Stoops tries to justify why his team got another back door invite to the game.  Bradford gets exposed, and Chiefs fans breathe a sigh of relief that we didn't bother taking the bum.  But it can also go the other way.  No. 2 would be the dream scenario for Chiefs fans.  Bradford has a monster game.  Shows the world that he is a big time player who can do it against the best competition on the biggest stage.  He declares for the draft  (I've already got Detroit taking Stafford No. 1 and St. Louis taking Andre Smith No. 2.) gets picked No. 3, becomes the savior this town hasn't had in my lifetime, leads this team to playoff wins and Super Bowls while becoming a perennial All-Pro, and after beating the AFC West for 15 years, retires to a seat on the 14 member ESPN Sunday NFL Countdown pre-game show as he waits for his Hall of Fame induction. 

Playing QB in the NFL isn't about throwing tight spirals or deep outs or being 6' 5" or 40 times or anything else the "experts" try to complicate it into being.  It's about having "it", the invisible juice.  It's about being the coolest guy in the stadium when the crowd is so loud you can't hear your beating heart even though it is pounding out your chest while down 6 points with 1:30 left in the game and walking into the huddle and everyone (the people in the stadium, the fans watching on TV, your team and coaches, and even the fans, players, and coaches on the other team.) knowing that there is no doubt that the game is already yours.  If there was ever a chance for Sam Bradford to show that he has that "it", it's in the BCS championship game.  If the kids got it, he'll show it, and if not, it's best that we find out Sooner Than Later.

        

                        
                       No Need For A Resume Scott;  You're The Perfect Guy For The Job

Clark Hunt:  Come on in Scott.  I know you're a busy man, being courted by several franchises for your ability to ride Bill Belichiks coattails (I mean build a championship organization), so we'll get right down to it.

Scott Pioli:  Alright with me.  Sounds like we already have alot in common.  If anyone knows about gravy training off someone else's hard work, it would be the trust fund child of the cheapest owner in the NFL.

CH:  Okay, first question.  How would you like to be the most hated man in Kansas City?

SP:  I don't understand.

CH:  The job title is President and General Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs, but under job description it will read "most hated man in KC."

SP:  I understand that with this position comes public scrutiny and criticism, but I intend to turn whatever franchise I take over into a winner.  How can Chiefs fans hate a GM that will build a winner?  Besides, won't there be a grace period?

CH:  No Scott, you don't understand.  Sure there will be a one or two year grace period where you can blame all the losing on the last schmuck (I mean GM), but after a while, every loss will be blamed on you.  That's why I got rid of the last guy.  Because he was the most hated man in Kansas City.  Wasn't his fault.  People didn't like Carl even as we were winning the division and making the playoffs every year.  So when things turned bad, he became the most reviled person in the history of this town.  They even gave him a nickname,"King Carl".  Hilarious, like he had to do anything to do with rising ticket prices and parking or us putting the squeeze on every 1st round draft  choice since the mid-80's and forcing them to hold out or not keeping Jared Allen and John Tait or manipulating Jackson County voters to approve a tax increase to refurbish the stadium while at the same time letting the team go 2-14 while at the same time staying $30+ million under the salary cap so I can pocket the extra revenue and calling it a rebuilding process.  The best part, I sitting back watching my trust fund grow from 1,000 miles away in Dallas while the fans blamed Peterson for everything, even though, all he was doing was following my daddy's orders.  "Fill the stadium, but do it cheap."

SP:  So if he was so good at his job, then why was he fired?

CH:  Basically, the fans caught on.  We tried to sell them some BS about going young (more like cheap), playing rookies and free agents (not experienced veterans other teams bid for, but actual free agents, the type that other teams let go for free.)   Anyway, the fans caught on.  Apparently, they expected us to win more than 2 games in a season regardless of the lack of experience on the team (crap I say), and they stopped showing up.  That's why I had to let him go.

SP:  But all Carl did was follow your orders, and for that, you fired him?

CH:  Had to.  Like I said.  It worked for 50 years, but the fans caught on. 

SP:  So you got rid of Carl not because he stunk at his job but because fans stopped showing up?


CH:  When the seats go empty, you either spend money to rebuild a winner:

SP:  Or?

CH:  Or, you fire the D-Bag everyone hates and you bring in the next guy. 

SP:  So why me?  If don't care about winning, if you only want to fill the seats, if I have no chance at any success here because you are too cheap to pay any players then why go after a big name, high price candidate like me.

CH:  Good question.  Well, unfortunately the fans are getting too smart.  Damn talk radio and internet blogs.  They won't be fooled by any guy off the streets.  I need someone who brings some name recognition.  Someone from a winning organization.  Someone who the fans will trust to build them a winner.  I need to go after the most expensive name on the market.  The only way to regain their trust is to make it look like I'm doing everything in my power to bring in the best candidate money can buy.

SP:  But won't that affect your bottom line?

CH:  That's the beauty of it all.  I pay you a ridiculous amount of money to be GM.  The fans come back to a rebuilt Arrowhead because they trust you.  They pay for $150 tickets,  $25 parking, $11 beers, $115 jerseys of whatever bust we pick with the No. 3 pick because you know I refuse to pay for decent scouts or coaches, and anything else I can sell for 4 times market value.  It's ingenious.  I get paid.  You get paid.  Everyone's a winner.

SP:  What about the fans?

CH:  What about them?

SP:  Well, don't they deserve to have an owner who, at least tries to win.

CH:  Hey buddy, don't get all self righteous with me.  I didn't buy this team.  I inherited it.  I'm stuck with this franchise because I don't know any other way to make a living besides selling false hope to a blindly loyal fanbase.  Besides, these idiots are lucky that this franchise even plays in this crummy town.  Why do you think I only come up here two or three times a year.  I hate this place.  I don't even like football.  I'd rather watch soccer in LA than watch this stupid team.  Anyway, KC fans are lucky that I can't move this team to San Antonio or LA and instantly double the team's value.  I wish they would have never voted in that stupid ransom (I mean tax increase).  The Mayflower trucks would already been packed if they didn't.

SP:  So let me get this straight.  Suppose I take the job.  I won't be allowed to spend any money to stock the team with talent.  I'll be blamed for every penny pinching signing you force me to make, and I become what Carl became.  The most hated man in Kansas City!?!?  Why would anyone want this job?

CH:  Because it pays.  That's why you are the perfect guy for the job, Scott.  Stop fooling yourself.  Everyone knows you are just Bill Belichik's stooge.  Just like Charlie Weiss.  Just like Romeo Crennel.  Just like Eric Mangini.  Just like all the other stooges when they don't have "the hoodie" to hold their hands anymore.

SP:  I beg to differ.  I made many important decisions for the Patriots.

CH:  Yeah right, dude.  How many moves did you make to help New England win those three Super Bowls.

SP:  Well, I....  I....... 

CH:  Exactly.

SP:  I hired Matt Walsh.  Best third video assistant in the league.

CH:  And how did that turn out?

SP:  Okay, not so good.  I kinda get your point now.

CH:  I knew that you would.  So how does five years and $40 million sound?

SP:  That sounds great!  Where do I sign?

CH:  Right here.  Congratulations, you are the new President and General Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs.  How does it feel?

SP:  Pretty good.  I guess.

CH:  Don't worry.  The fans won't start hating you until after they stop blaming Carl so it might be awhile.  By the way, your first assignment is to fire Herm Edwards.  Make sure you replace him with someone cheap.

        

                                           
                                          The Perfect Hero For The Perfect Day

Sometimes you need the right ending to make something special.  Sometimes you need Verbal Kint to limp out of the police station and walk away as Kaiser Sose.  (I talked to a buddy the other day who said he called the ending out ten minutes into the movie.  I called BS on it, but then it led me to think that maybe I was the only one that didn't see this coming.  Same way that I never saw that Bruce Willis was a ghost in The Sixth Sense.  I know I can't be the only one.  Right.) Sometimes you need Mario Chalmers to rain a moon shot 3-pointer to force a championship game into overtime.  A massage is only someone squeezing and pounding your back unless it comes with a "happy ending".  The ending is the lasting impression.  It's what separates the great movies, games, and moments in life from the ones that simply fill time. 

Unfortunately, the converse is also true.  In a season when we've alternated from gut wrenching losses to disheartening defeats to lifeless ass beatings, it's only fitting that the last game had to be a perfect mix of gutless effort from a lifeless team taking an ass kicking from one of the other worst teams in the league.  It had to end this way.  Every single bit of hope of progress from a young team still fighting for its coaches job had to be completely sucked out of us.  A season full of bittersweet losses had to end with a triple serving of shit from the potluck that is currently Kansas City Chiefs football.   We were equally inept, ineffective, and inconsistent in all three phases of the game as we were being out hustled, out coached, and out executed by a team that lost the first eight games of the season with a lame duck coach, a back up QB, two backup WRs, and a RB who got more DUIs than TDs.  (I would say to blow it all up and start over again, but that would infer that, outside of Tony G, there was something to blow up.  Once again, I would like to thank the football gods that we aren't joining Detroit as the second 0-16 team this year.)

1.  At a time in his career when he could have played himself into a starting job as an NFL QB, Tyler Thigpen had the look of someone who had already conceded his job  to Sam Bradford or Matthew Stafford.  Win today and the Chiefs could possibly slide into the No. 3 spot.  If Stafford and Bradford go 1 and 2, then Tyler has a decent chance to salvage another year as the starter.  All this at stake and Tyler plays the worst game of his career.  He didn't miss guys by yards.  He missed them by weeks, months, years, and decades.  I really can't get over it.  Tyler had the most to gain from a win today, and he tensed up and crumbled under the pressure.  I guess I shouldn't;be surprised since that's what he's done all year.

2.  This game highlighted every aspect of LJ's game.  His lack of speed on outside runs.  His lack of toughness in goal line situations.  His inability to be a factor in the passing game.  When RBs fall off the cliff, they never recover.  Welcome to the Shaun Alexander, Eddie George, Jamal Anderson, Terrell Davis, and LT club.  I'm sure they have you seat on the Best Damn Sports Show couch already reserved.

3.  Tony G is as good as gone.  As much as i hate to see him go and as much as I argued for him not to be traded earlier in the season, it's time for Tony to go.  It flat out hurts to watch this thoroughbreds run with a bunch of nags.  Take the third round pick.  Watch him break down from injuries and disappoint his future team for the next two years, and have him come back and sign one of those 1 day contracts so he can officially retire as a Chiefs, and we'll forget about the other team when he gets into Canton.  (BTW, anyone who wears a Tony G New England Patriots jersey will be my future D-Bag of the Week.)

4.  The last installment of the Herm Edwards "We play to win the game" mismanagement moment.  The entire game.  The way the team came out flat knowing that the coach's job was on the line.  Herm's only defense for his job was the way his players always came out to play for him.  His team quit on him today.  He didn't look like he cared.  It's been a good ride Herm.  Not really, but cya anyway.

5.  I can't explain how a team can be so bad against the run.   We made Cedric "I spent training camp in a 12 step alcohol recovery program" Benson an extra $10 million today.  I feel bad for Bengals fans who have already talked themselves into Benson's resurgence as a legit NFL back after this game.  Two years from now when Benson is rediscovering his Chicago Bears form, Cincy fans will look back to this day with more disdain for Benson's 100+ yard performance than we do. 

6.  Ryan Fitzpatrick to a bunch of Cincy WRs not named Ocho Cinco or Housh.  That was despicable.  That's all I've got to say about that.  (No, I cannot go more than a week without a Forrest Gump reference.)  Let this be the final legacy of the Gunther Cunningham error.

The best part about this game is that it is finally and mercifully over.  End of the season.  End of 2008.  End of Carl, Herm, and Gunther.  End to all the excuses, the baby sitting, the lack of accountability.  End to LJ and sorry but also Tony.  End of the worst two year stretch of football in this town.  End to the failed rebuilding project.  As much as it hurt to see, it had to end this way, and once the new regime rebuilds this franchise, we're all gonna look back at today's loss as The Perfect Ending.

        

                                                       
                                            We're Getting Close, And That's A Good Thing

Let's get out it at the very beginning.  There's no way in hell Herm Edwards is the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs next year.  No way.  Not happening.  Not in the realm of possibility.  Not even close to being close to being a minuscule of a speck of the slightest of chances.  I've got a better chance of being in the middle of a Jessica Sandwich with  Beil and Alba (And not Simpson.  Check that.  I take it back.  Throw her in.  I'm not that picky.) in the back of a limo while snorting mounds of cocaine Scarface style and screaming "I want what's coming to me.  The world and everything in it." as we all cruise the Las Vegas strip tossing $100 bills out the window this New Year's Eve.  That's not happening for too many reasons to explain, and neither is Herm surviving past this Sunday.

Close Isn't Good Enough

Towards the end of his career, they used to say that if you needed 1 yard that Jerome Bettis could get you 3, and if you needed 6 yards, the Bus could get you 3.  The same can be said about Herms.  If you need someone to coach up a bunch of young kids to play just well enough to lose, then Herm is your man.  Unfortunately, if you need someone to make enough tactical errors to keep a more talented team from winning, Herm is also your man.  The same way you don't get credit for being close to being faithful to your wife or for being close to being off meth, you don't get any props for winning in the NFL unless you actually do it.  Bottom line.  Close will never count.  Ask Buffalo Bills and Tennessee Titans fans how good close feels.  (Vin Diesel quote alert.  BTW, you have to give the man major props for making a movie in which he punks Asian people throughout, but somehow, he is still universally beloved in the Asian community.  Makes me wonder if Blacks, Russians, and people who are HIV positive feel the same way about Sly Stallone in the Rocky movies.)  It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, it counts the same.  Let me repeat.  A loss is a loss is a loss is a last second blown coverage is a failed two point conversion is a dropped onside kick is a loss.  Herm will always get us close, but the only goal that he can actually accomplish is getting himself fired.

The Fatal Flaw

"We play to win THE GAME!" (I thought "All righty, then."  from Dumb and Dumber was the most annoying phrase I have ever heard, but Herm's ridiculous quote can't stop being mocked soon enough, and the sooner he gets out of this town, the sooner we can all stop saying this to each other, and that's one of thing we can all look forward to.)  But if that game is the Super Bowl than it's never gonna happen as long as Herm is our coach.  Even Herm's most brainwashed supporters can't deny that he is a horrible game manager.  No matter how they trumpet his motivation skills, his high character, and his respect amongst the players and around the league, I have yet to hear one person in this town say that Herm is a championship caliber coach.  Fan or foe, we all know that, like a character in a Shakespearian play, it will always be his fatal flaw.  He's like a cute chick with an STD.  Sure it's nice to have him around to give an encouraging word, to keep a positive outlook, to go catch a movie, or have a casual dinner, but when the time comes to go all the way, the fatal flaw will always flair up.   Unlike some STDs that can be treated with an injection, there's is no amount of penicillin that can stop Herm from calling a bad time out, making a not close by a yard challenge, or going for an impossible-to-make fourth-and-1 with a everyone-knows-what-we're-running play at the absolute worst time.

The Losing Must End and It Must End Now

What separates the winning franchises, the Steelers and the Giants, from the Lions and the Bengals?  You can say what you want about talent and coaching, but how does that explain decades and decades of winning or losing.  To me, the difference is culture and accountability.  To win in pro sports you must build a winning culture, and to build that culture, everyone from the owner on down must be held accountable.  Clark Hunt has already held Carl Peterson accountable for all the empty seats at Arrowhead, and fair or not, Herm must now be held accountable for coaching the two worst back to back seasons in Chiefs history.  Then and only then will the culture be turned around.  If Herm stays then what does it tell the players about being accountable for their play.  Sure the players want Herm.  Who wouldn't want a boss that doesn't care about results?  But guess what?  A company that isn't held accountable for profits is bound to beg for money in front of Congress just as a team that isn't held accountable is bound to produce more excuses than wins.  We as fans need to hold everyone in the organization accountable.  It starts with Clark Hunt to the new GM to everyone on down, and that accountability starts with the firing of a head coach that's won six games in two years.

The Final Countdown

The decision has already been made.  When Herm shakes the hand of Marvin Lewis after the game, (Another lame duck head coach.  To those of you who think that Herm should get one more year, look to the Bengals if you want to see what a team looks like when it holds onto a coach a year too long.  How long will it take to fix that disaster?) it will mark the last time he we be on the field as an NFL head coach.  Shake hands, address the team, repeat the sorry excuses to the media, fly home in the team plane, pick up the last check, clean out the office, and take the last walk out of Arrowhead.  One foot in front of the other.  The official announcement won't come until this Monday, but we all know that it's over, and from now until then that he is just Dead Herm Walking.

        

                                   


Name:  Hung Lo

Age:  Don't even want to say.  Let's just say I grew up in the era of Gansta Rap, (it was generally accepted that women could be called "Bitches" and "Hoes" back then, in fact it was expected) AIDS, grunge, and of course every bodies favorite Crack Cocaine.  Yes folks, it was the 90's and what a wonderful time it was.

Hometown:  Kansas City, of course,  the Missouri side.  Love the Chiefs and Royals.  As for colleges, I watch SEC ball. (better athletes, coaches,  and we don't care about stupid things like academics or under the table payouts).

Race:  Yellow or Vietnamese.  Why not Asian?  Cuz, I think it's stupid.  (By the way, when did we become Asian anyway.  I blame it one those standardized test we all took in school.  A couple of generations of filling the "Asian/Pacific Islander not Hispanic" bubble and presto, we stop becoming Oriental and start calling each other "Asian")  I call Europeans "white", and Africans "black", so it is only fair that I call myself "Yellow" even though my skin is a bronze color, especially in the summer.

Why am I writing this Blog:

1.  I am wasting my life sitting in a cube and needed a creative outlet.  (Wonder what my boss would think if he knew I was writing this stuff instead of working)  Also, wanted to give my friends something to read as we grind away our lives one work day at a time.

2.  Truthfully, (trying to stay as modest as possible)  I think I know more about sports than most of the D-Bags who get paid to talk and write about it.  There are some guys that know what they are talking about, but most of the idiots you see and hear have no idea what they are doing.

3.  Kansas City is a great sports town, but we have no internet presence.  Just wanted to have a place where I could discuss local topics online.  Hopefully, I could get a couple of people to read this and have good discussions.

4.  The stem the tide against the political correctness that has infected the corporate world and is overtaking the sports world.  Come on,  sports is supposed to be a place where guys can be guys.  If they take that away from us, then there is nothing left.

Disclaimer:  My grammar sucks and my spelling is even worse. (I will play the "English is not my first language" card now)  If you are looking for poetic pontifications (I don't know if that makes sense or even if I spelled that right) about athletics then you are in the wrong place.  This is a rant.  I like to go in a multitude of different directions at the same time, but that's how I think and that's how I write.



Questions, Comments, Suggestions, Free Stuff You Want to Give Me
E-mail at HungLo@kcsportsrant.com